so, this year for Valentines Day, much like every other year, I won’t be spending it with a significant other or a partner or a date.
Just me and my myself and maybe my cats.
But, what makes this year different from all the other years is that instead of focusing on the fact that I don’t have someone to show me some affection, I’m gonna use that day to show myself some love. Just like you should everyday.
I always used to be so intent on finding someone, any one. A person that could make me feel better about myself or that could make me happy but that’s never worked out in my favor. I felt like I was running out of time, as funny as it sounds.
I mean, there I was 18, 19, 20. The years kept passing and I was still alone. Was it me? Was I doing something wrong? Was I always gonna be alone?
It’s so easy to think that not having so many partners by a certain age or so many kisses or whatever isn’t normal, and it took me awhile to actually grasp and understand that concept for myself. To understand that I’m my own person with my own experiences and I can’t be compared to theses “averages” and by no means does it equate to there being something wrong with me. I’m pretty great, if I don’t say so myself.
So, this valentines Day I’m making cute little cards for friends and making sure to be extra sweet to myself because I deserves it and so do you. Wether that means buying yourself that one thing that you’ve been eying that you really want or taking a long bubble bath or just polishing off a whole carton of ice cream.
Do it! Do you, and don’t forget the cherry on top!
So, I was at work.
I’m an overnight employee at Target. Which has cray hours but a job is a job sooo..
But anyway, I basically spend all night stocking aisles and so on and so forth. And I’m in this aisle with two coworkers.
I just happen to come in the middle of their discussion but blend into the background just ease dropping cuz your gurl loves the gossip.
So, I’m quietly putting things in their place in the shelves as I overhear the gist of what they’re saying.
Basically, one coworker was explaining to the other that the position that the later applied for in the store, a higher more well paid position, had already been filled by a third coworker.
This did not please the later coworker who had hoped to get that position. And the dismay on their face was apparent.
I don’t know how it happened but I was dragged into the conversation. When said coworker made the most hilarious statement I ever heard.
They said something along the lines of, “now, I’m not racist..”
Which is already a good start.
”..but I think that the reason he was hired was because he was black.”
They then went on the say that “whites always get the short end of the stick” and “bla blah racist shit blah”
I was like. I cAN’T. I don’t have the time to lay down why that is racist and ughhhhh.
It left me in a tough spot because I felt like letting them speak those ignorant thoughts around me without correcting them made me seem like I was racist by association.
Is that even a thing?
But on the other hand. Is it my job to give this coworker an anti oppression 101 workshop right there in the aisle, when I know that being a white person there was a good chance that they would react pretty negatively to being called out? I have to see this person several days a week. Do I really want to have this conversation/argument/lesson and ultimately tension for as long as we see each other?
I decided against it. I let it go. Simply saying that I understood that she was upset but..?? *shrug*
My other coworker opted with same route of stating they understood but..?? What’s done was done. I’m pretty sure that both of us being people of color made it that much more awkwarddd.
Is there really any “proper” way of handling those sorts of situations in the work place? Because it’s like a different world. Had that coworker been my friend I would have promptly shut that racism train down. But It was a person I was friendly with but didn’t know, didn’t see outside of work, didn’t care about. I thought it wasn’t worth it.And that’s that.
SPREAD THE WORD. THE DROP II (return of the all ages queer dance party) is this Sunday, July 28 the official T.G.I.F afterparty. Come out to support and invite your friends. The party will be @ BOTTOM LOUNGE 1375 W. Lake st from 6-10p. $10 or $7 with/flyer.